DAISY: I like legs, Mummy.

ME: (nonplussed) Do you, love?

DAISY: Yes. I like my legs.

ME: Well, that’s good, then.

DAISY: I like Samson’s legs. (Samson is a cat)

ME: Does Samson have nice legs, then?

DAISY: Yes. And I like Samson’s ears.

ME: Well, yes, he does have quite nice ears.

DAISY: Samson’s ears are dirty.

ME: Are they?

DAISY: Yes.

This sort of conversation is getting increasingly common around here. To some statements, though, it’s very difficult to know what the answer is…

This is such a better way to deal with being 5 weeks pregnant. Last time, I was dragging myself into work in the morning, completely failing to think coherently about my job for eight hours, then needing to go straight to bed as soon as I got home - get up for tea at 7.30pm, then back to bed at 9.30pm. It was grim, I was SO SO tired, it was basically an exercise in endurance, and I didn’t get time to a single fun thing during the week.

Today, I got up at about 8am, dressed and breakfasted at whatever pace I felt capable of, went to Asda secure in the knowledge that it was the only energetic thing I was going to do across the day, had lunch, then spent an hour dozing on the sofa while Daisy watched CBeebies. A rest after lunch means I’m more likely to survive the evening, and I don’t, generally, feel like a wet rag, because I’m not, generally, over-doing it.

This is a much better way to do it. Trying to hold down a job when you’re in this state seems foolhardy, at best…

I was right.

So, reasons I think I’m pregnant this month?

1) I’m late, though I must admit to having a rather more erratic cycle than usual, just recently. I was regular as clockwork for 20 years, and now I’m lurching from 28 day months to 34 day ones for no apparent reason. However, based on earlier assumptions of a 30 day cycle (which always used to be true), I’m two days late.

2) Two days in a row, I’ve looked at the cafetiere of filter coffee, poured it down the sink, and had apple juice instead.

3) Today, I’m absolutely exhausted. I mean, maybe I’ve been staying up too late, or something, but I spent a good hour on the sofa watching Numberjacks and Me Too! this morning, and most of the afternoon doing the same thing. Ever couple of minutes Daisy would shout “WAKE UP, MUMMY!”

4) About ten days ago, I experienced a very tiny amount of bleeding, which so reminded me of what they call “implantation bleeding” that I’ve kind of been convinced since two days after I ovulated.

5) I feel slightly sick. Very, very slightly, to the extent that I couldn’t really say whether I feel really sick, or just excited/nervous/apprehensive over the idea of being pregnant again.

This is becoming a pattern in itself, though. Every month I identify some vague physiological trait that represents proof positive, only to find out that I made it all up in my head.

Maybe this time I’m right, though.